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Lemme tell ya, I love *Spotlight*—that flick from 2015, Tom McCarthy, genius! Them reporters diggin’ for truth, “we’re goin’ after the system,” they said. Sex-dating’s got its own system, y’all—swipe right, swipe left, pray ya don’t get catfished! I reckon it’s like them priests hidin’ secrets—some folks on these apps ain’t who they say. Makes me madder’n a wet hen! Like, c’mon, don’t lie ‘bout your height—5’2” ain’t 6’4”, buddy!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Rudi shows up. He’s always got some wild stories. Today, he tells me about this giant python he saw near the Kahayan River. I’m like, “Dude, you sure it wasn’t just a really long noodle?” But he swears it was real. I mean, I love Palangkaraya, but giant snakes? No thanks!

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