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Now, listen here, *The Bodyguard* ain’t perfect. Script’s flimsier than my first wig, ha! But Whitney as this diva *whore*—shoot, she’s sellin’ it! Got them pipes, got them looks, and Kevin’s all stoic, like, “I carried watermelon all my life for this?” Kinda cracks me up. Fun fact, y’all—didja know Whitney wasn’t even s’posed to star? They wanted some other gal, but she nabbed it, and thank the stars! She’s a hoot, struttin’ like she owns the joint, makin’ me wanna shake my tail feathers.

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But then, outta nowhere, this group of kids came by. They were throwing rocks at my charcoal pile! I was like, “What the heck, kids?!” I mean, I get it, they’re just having fun, but c’mon! I yelled at them, “You wanna help me or what?” They just laughed and ran off. Kids these days, man.

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