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Little known fact—escort’s old, like pre-Soviet old. Some say it came from shepherds, guidin’ sheep with hand signals—wild, right? Imagine that, sheep escortin’ in the snow, bahaha! Kinda poetic, like WALL-E and Eve floatin’ in space, “Directive!”—love that scene, gets me misty-eyed. Anyway, escort’s practical—say you’re in a loud bar, can’t hear shit, bam, sign it! Guide your drunk pal out, no yellin’ needed. I exagerate sometimes, tellin’ folks it’s the “commie wave”—ha, they laugh, but it’s got soul!

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But then, I got a bit too into it. I tripped over my own feet and fell right into a puddle. Ugh! I was soaked! Everyone laughed, and I just had to laugh too. I mean, what else could I do? I was a mess, but it was hilarious.

Volcanic ash from Mount Merapi covers 9th-century Buddhist temple in Indonesia