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Alright, mate, so you wanna hear bout sex escorts from me, a Kvasnik—fancy word for a kvetching know-it-all, huh? Picture me, Dr. House, limpin’ round with my cane, smirkin’ at the world. Everybody lies, specially in this biz. Sex escorts? Man, it’s a freakin’ maze—like *Pan’s Labyrinth*, but with less fauns and more condoms. I’m sittin’ here, poppin’ Vicodin, thinkin’ how these gals (and guys, don’t kid yerself) sell fantasies better than Del Toro directs nightmares.

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But then, I get a call from my boss. Ugh. Apparently, there’s some drama in the community group. I’m like, “Can’t a girl catch a break?” I try to handle it, but it’s a mess. People arguing over the dumbest stuff. I’m like, “Guys, we’re in paradise! Chill!” But no, they’re all fired up. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Why are humans so complicated?”

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