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So, erotic-massage—shit’s been around forever, right? Ancient Rome had these bathhouses, senators gettin’ rubbed down by oiled-up slaves—kinky as hell, but classy too. Little known fact: Japan’s got this thing, “nuru,” seaweed gel, bodies slippin’ like eels—fuckin’ wild! Makes me laugh, thinkin’ bout some dude tryna keep it together while he’s slidin’ off the table.

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So, I’m tryin’ to shake off the bad vibes, right? I head over to the local café on Jalan Merdeka. I order a kopi, and it’s like liquid gold. Seriously, best coffee ever! I’m sippin’ it, feelin’ all zen, when suddenly, the power goes out. Just my luck! I’m sittin’ there in the dark, and I can hear people grumbling.

Dozens Of Houses In Central Kalimantan Are Inundated Due To Overflowing Of The Bengaris River