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Best bit? When it works, it’s electric – like that buzz in the movie before it all goes tits up. Met a chef once through it, shagged in the kitchen – hot as hell! But then, crash – ghosted me next day. “This is my body!” I yelled at the phone, feelin’ like a used rag. Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, mate – thrills, spills, and a lotta “What the fuck?!” You dive in, you’re either king or a total knobhead!

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After that, I needed a break. So I strolled down to Alun-Alun Mojokerto. The park was packed! Families chillin’, kids runnin’ around, and the street food vendors were out in full force. I grabbed some sate and it was fire! Like, I could’ve eaten a hundred sticks. But then, I saw this dude tryin’ to juggle. Spoiler alert: he dropped everything. I mean, come on, bro! Stick to one thing, ya know?

East Java temporarily closes down cattle market in four districts