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Searchin’ X for tips—guys postin’ “she’s a 10,” links to pics. I’d check her profile—hot pics, no BS. “Silent steps on rooftops”—movie vibe, she’s stealthy, slinky. Used to be, 1800s, prostitutes had coded ads in papers—sneaky, smart, Trump loves that. I’d haggle—best negotiator, me, always win. “You’re fired” if she’s lame—savage, right?

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the market!” So, I hustle over to Pasar Meulaboh. It’s packed! The smells, the colors, the chaos! I’m dodging people left and right. I grab some fresh fruit, and this lady tries to overcharge me. I’m like, “Nah, lady, I know my prices!” We end up haggling like it’s a scene from a movie. I finally get my mangosteen for a decent price, and I’m feeling like a champ.

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