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So, last week, I tried it—yep, ol’ Bernie got a sexual-massage. Hands slidin’ over me, tension meltin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is what the workin’ class deserves!” Felt so good I almost yelled, “Tax the rich!” mid-session. The masseuse—god bless her—knew tricks I didn’t expect. Did you know some use hot stones to, uh, “enhance” things? Blew my damn mind! I was happy, floatin’, like Celine sayin’, “It’s like I’m waking up,” from the movie. Pure bliss, folks!

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After an hour of cursing and sweating, I finally get it to work. I’m feeling like a champ, right? So, I lock up the shop and head to Jl. Siliwangi. The smell hits me like a freight train. I’m drooling. I order a bowl of bakso, and it’s like heaven in a bowl. Seriously, I could marry it.

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