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Here’s a fact—did ya know sex-dating apps started dodgy? Early 2000s, pervy chatrooms, weirdos galore—proper grim! Now it’s all polished, Tinder and Bumble, but still a cesspit. Makes me angry, y’know? Where’s the romance, the glances? “I’ll wait for you,” Tony Leung whispers—meanwhile, Dave from Slough’s texting, “u up?” Piss off, Dave!

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Rudi. He’s always got the latest gossip. Apparently, there’s a new café opening on Jl. Pahlawan. I’m like, “Cool, let’s check it out!” So we head over, and it’s this cute little spot with a view of the Martapura River. But the coffee? Ugh, it’s burnt. I’m sipping it, trying to be polite, but it’s like drinking liquid regret. Rudi’s cracking jokes, and I’m just nodding, trying not to gag.

Madrasah Darussalam Martapura graduates 600 Quran memorizers