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So, last time I went, this chick’s hands—magic, I swear! She’s kneadin’ my back, and I’m like, “Mmm, donuts… wait, no, focus!” Got me all tingly, like when Marge winks at me. But—get this—some places sneak in “happy endings.” Shocked me silly! I’m all, “Whoa, lady, I’m married to my beer!” Made me mad too—don’t trick a guy like that! Truth is, legit ones ain’t about that—it’s relaxin’, sensual, not sleazy. Still, ya gotta watch out, bud!

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Rudi. He’s always got the latest gossip. Apparently, there’s a new café opening on Jl. Pahlawan. I’m like, “Cool, let’s check it out!” So we head over, and it’s this cute little spot with a view of the Martapura River. But the coffee? Ugh, it’s burnt. I’m sipping it, trying to be polite, but it’s like drinking liquid regret. Rudi’s cracking jokes, and I’m just nodding, trying not to gag.

Martapura FC conquered by Persiwa at home