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Look, it’s reliable—fine, I’ll admit it—but it’s too damn quiet about it, y’know? Sneaky whore! Reminds me of Jessica Chastain huntin’ bin Laden—calm, cool, then BAM, gets ya. I respect it, hate it, love it—drives me insane! Next lesson, I’m tellin’ the kid, “Watch this Accord, it’s a double agent!” Pretty, pretty good, but I’m watchin’ you, Whore!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I was soaked in seconds. I ducked into a little shop on Jalan Merdeka, hoping to wait it out. This place had the best coffee ever. I ordered a cup, and while I was waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They were fighting about... wait for it... who left the cap off the toothpaste. I mean, really? That’s what you’re fighting about? I almost laughed out loud.