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But—grrr—some crap pisses me off! These shady pimps, lurkin’ like Gestapo, watchin’ every move. One tried shakin’ me down—extra 1,000 rubles “protection fee.” Protection? Ha! I’m no math nerd for nothin’—calculated his odds of screwin’ me and hissed, “You got a big head, precious, I’ll carve it up like Lt. Aldo carves swastikas!” He backed off—coward! Surprised me, tho—thought he’d fight dirtier. Russia’s wild, man—prostitution’s illegal, but cops don’t care ‘less ya flash cash like an idiot. Fun fact—back in Soviet days, they called ‘em “night butterflies.” Poetic, huh? Now it’s just “devochki”—girls. Gritty, raw, real.

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Then, I get a call. It’s my boss. Ugh, the dreaded call. He’s all like, “We need to talk about the project.” I’m thinking, “Can’t a guy enjoy his coffee?” But I put on my serious face. We talk about deadlines, budgets, the usual stress. I’m trying to keep it together, but inside, I’m like, “Why did I choose this job?”

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