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The ridge itself? Steep, rocky, sneaky lil’ paths—kinda like them gals, huh? Tricky to climb, but I done it! Got scratches all up my legs, cussed the whole way—“Lord, why I do this?!” But at the top? View’s so fine, I forgot all my fussin’. Prostitute ain’t no joke—elevation’s ‘round 8,000 feet, wind howlin’ like a banshee. I’m up there, yellin’, “I’m the queen of this hoe mountain!”—oops, typo, ha! Meant “whoa,” but it fits!

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Finally, I get my food. It’s steaming hot, and I dig in. Pure bliss! But then, outta nowhere, a stray dog comes up and snatches my plate! I’m just sitting there, mouth open, like, “Did that just happen?” The dog runs off, and I’m left with nothing but a sad fork.

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