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I’m sweatin’ just thinkin’ ‘bout it—respect my authoritah, I deserve this! Makes me wanna yell, “I’m not fat, I’m festive!” ‘Cause after one, I’d be bouncin’ around happy as a clam! Clams don’t get massages, tho—sad! Anyway, it’s chill, it’s wild, it’s like swimmin’ with Nemo’s dad, but dirtier. You gotta try it, or you’re a loser, period! Seriouslah, don’t be a Kyle—get rubbed down!

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But then, I see this guy trying to sell me a “genuine” batik shirt. I’m like, “Bro, I can smell the fake from a mile away.” He’s persistent, though. I’m getting annoyed. Like, dude, I’m not falling for that! But then I remember, this is Majene. Gotta roll with it.

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