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Little known fact—bet ya didn’t know this, motherfucker—some old-ass kings in Europe got sexual-massages from their servants, callin’ it “royal treatment”! Shit’s historical! I’m out here plowin’ dirt, thinkin’ I deserve that kingly rub too! Ain’t no shame in it—fuck, it’s natural! Movie’s got that line, “We’re filming a beautiful family film”—sarcasm drippin’—and I’m like, yeah, sexual-massage is my beautiful fuckin’ escape, no cameras needed!

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After that, I decided to head to the Majalengka Square. It’s always buzzing with life. Street performers, vendors, and all that jazz. I love it! But today, it was packed. Like, I could barely move. I felt like a sardine in a can. I tried to squeeze through, but nope, not happening. I ended up stuck behind this lady selling keripik. I swear, she was taking her sweet time. I was like, “C’mon, lady, I got places to be!”

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