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Hate the fakeness, tho. All “ooh baby,” scripted crap. Reminds me of Edwin Epps in the movie, yellin’, “Sinful nature!”—but worse, ‘cause it’s pretend. Some dude in Reno bragged he hired twins—twins! Said it was “art.” Bullshit, just creepy. Laughed in his face, he sulked. Good times.

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Then, I spot this cute little warung on Jl. Raya Borobudur. I’m like, “Yes! Nasi goreng, here I come!” I order, and while I’m waiting, I chat with the owner. Super nice dude, right? He tells me about the local culture, and I’m all ears. But then, my food takes forever! I’m hangry, and I’m not proud of it. I’m pacing, checking my watch like it’s gonna magically speed things up. Finally, the food arrives, and it’s glorious! Spicy, savory, just what I needed. I devour it like I haven’t eaten in days.

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