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Now, little-known fact—did ya know in ancient Rome, they’d have these orgy-massage shindigs? *Massagium eroticus*, they called it—posh tosh, but true! Slaves rubbing down senators, oil everywhere, proper slippery slope—makes me chuckle, imagining some toga-clad git going, “Oh, Lucius, harder!” Got me in stitches, that does, but also—bloody hell—bit jealous, ain’t I? Why don’t we have that now, eh? Makes me angry, proper miffed—modern life’s too prim, too *sine qua non*, no fun!

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So, I finally decide to make a run for it. I dash down Jl. Merdeka, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. I’m laughing at myself, thinking, “What a day!” But then, BAM! I slip on a wet spot and go down. Like, full-on cartoon style. I’m sprawled out, and this group of teenagers starts laughing. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” But inside, I’m dying.

Fig. 7. The costume of the Bedhaya Bedhah Madiun dance Mangkunegaran...