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I’m all hyped bout it, cos it’s sneaky good. Relaxes ya, sure, but then – bam! – gets the blood pumpin where it counts. Little known fact: in Japan, they got this “nurumassage” thing, slippin n slidin with gel, total freakout! Makes me wanna yell, “Oh, behave!” – but nah, I’m into it. Gets me hot under the collar, no lie. Ever tried it? Feels like heaven, mate, but ya gotta watch out – some places ain’t legit. Pisses me off when creeps ruin it, y’know? “This is not a game,” like Spotlight says – gotta keep it real.

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Finally, I made it to Alun-Alun. Rudi was there, lookin’ all smug. He had this giant bowl of bakso. I was like, “Dude, save me some!” But he just laughed and said, “You snooze, you lose!” Ugh, so annoying. But I couldn’t stay mad. The vibe was too good.

Mount Semeru erupts, spews one km volcanic ash: Official