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Chatty lil story – in Ireland, some dude modded an Escort to plow fields. Plow fields! Wild, right? I’m cacklin thinkin bout it – HAHAHA – practical, sure, but who does that? Total character, that car. Not perfect, nah, stalls like my ex’s excuses, but charm? Oozes it. Whaddya think, sweetie – you an Escort fan now? Gotta run – crops callin! Muah!

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Next up, this dude comes in, right? He’s wearing a jersey from some local team. I think it was PSMS Medan or something. He’s all hyped up, talking about the game last night. I’m like, “Bro, I didn’t even watch it.” But he goes on and on. I’m nodding, trying to be polite, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna scan your stuff and go home.”

Small magnitude 2.8 quake hits 3 miles southeast of Redlands, California, United States after midnight