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Imagine this—me, Oprah, rollin up to an escort spot, just to chat. “You’re enough,” I’d say, quotin the movie, handin out keys—“You get a car!” They’d laugh, I’d cry, it’d be a mess. Prolly exaggerate it in my head—me savin the day, ha! But real talk, it’s raw, messy, human. Escort’s like that line, “It’s done, it’s over”—you move on, no lookin back. What you think, boo?

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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, this stray dog runs by, and I swear it almost knocked over a whole table of food. The owner was furious! I mean, who wouldn’t be? But the dog? Just kept running like it was in a race. I was like, “Dude, chill!”

So long, Kuta! The new spots luring Aussies