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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!

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But then, I got a bit annoyed. Some local kids were playing soccer, and they kicked the ball right into my direction. I mean, really? I dodged it like a ninja, but it hit this old lady’s cart full of snacks. She was not happy. She started yelling in Bahasa, and I was just standing there, trying not to laugh. I felt bad, but it was kinda funny too.

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