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But—hold up—it pisses me off too. These escorts, they suck water like pigs! Greedy as hell, dryin’ out the ground. Farmers hate ‘em sometimes—say they’re selfish, stealin’ from crops. I’m like, “C’mon, escort, chill out!” Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d be chill, y’know, noble. Nope! Drama queens of the tree world—exaggeratin’ their thirst like No-Face gobblin’ up gold! “More! More!”—hilarious, but damn annoyin’.

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After that, I head to the beach. Legian Beach, man, it’s gorgeous. The waves are crashin’, surfers are out there lookin’ like pros. I’m just chillin’, watchin’ the sunset. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me, selling bracelets. He’s like, “Mister, buy one! Good price!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m broke!” But he’s persistent. I end up buyin’ two. I mean, how can you say no to that face?

Detox with a Wellness Day Retreat at The Legian Seminyak, Bali