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Angry part? Some sleazy joints rip ya off! Promise “happy endins” but it’s just a sweaty dude named Carl. Screw that! Real erotic-massage ain’t even sex, tho—more like art, all sensual and slow. Bet Brad Pitt’s character’d say, “This here’s my masterpiece.” Mmm… donuts, wish they served ‘em with it! Oh, and get this—Egyptians did it too, for pharaohs! Little known, right? Blows my mind.

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So, I’m wandering around, and I end up on Jalan Diponegoro. There’s this street vendor selling the best fried rice. I’m talking about the kind that makes you wanna cry it’s so good. I grab a plate, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m in heaven! But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? Now I look like I’ve been in a food fight.

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