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Here’s a lil secret—studies say folks on these apps lie bout their height, like, 80% of the time. Dudes addin two inches, I’m screamin! Why you lyin, Chad? I’m over here, cacklin, picturin Margot rollin her eyes at that nonsense. “This is bullshit,” she’d mutter, and I feel her. Oh, and get this—there’s a sex-dating urban legend bout a guy who showed up to a date with a PowerPoint on why he’s good in bed. Bruh, I’d die laughin—points for effort, tho!

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

But then, outta nowhere, this dude on a motorbike zooms past. Almost takes me out! Like, bro, chill! It’s not a racetrack! I’m all like, “What’s your rush, man?” But he just laughs and speeds off. I’m standing there, half-eating my pisang, half-fuming.

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