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Searchin’ X for tips—guys postin’ “she’s a 10,” links to pics. I’d check her profile—hot pics, no BS. “Silent steps on rooftops”—movie vibe, she’s stealthy, slinky. Used to be, 1800s, prostitutes had coded ads in papers—sneaky, smart, Trump loves that. I’d haggle—best negotiator, me, always win. “You’re fired” if she’s lame—savage, right?

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So, I’m tryin’ to shake that off, right? I stop by this little warung on Jalan Pantai. Best nasi goreng ever! I’m talkin’ spicy, flavorful, the whole shebang. I’m munchin’ away, and this local dude starts chattin’ me up. He’s like, “You like Labuan? It’s chill, right?” I’m like, “Yeah, man! But watch out for those bikers!” We both laugh, and I’m feelin’ good again.

Up close with sharks and dragons