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Here’s a juicy tidbit—studies say 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Wild, right? It’s like the whole world’s a backstage pass to Bone City. But the catch? Half these peeps lie—height, pics, “I’m not married”—total BS. Makes me wanna scream, “Frickin’ idiots!” Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I’d pay to zap the liars with my laser. “Sharks with frickin’ laser beams,” ya feel me?

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Next, I head to the harbor. The boats are lined up, and I’m just in awe. The turquoise water is calling my name. I’m thinking, “Should I just jump in?” But no, I gotta be responsible. So, I meet with some local officials. They’re super nice, but I can’t help but feel a bit outta place. They’re all talking about the tourism boom, and I’m just nodding like I understand everything.

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