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Gets me riled up, all this pretendin’. Happy? Nah, never – surprises me though, how daft punters are. One geezer, swear down, paid an escort to just sit there, silent, like some livin’ statue. “Her breathing’s enough,” he says – mate, you’re off yer rocker! Reminds me of that film line, “She’s alive, but not really.” Creepy, innit? We’s gobsmacked, precious – who’s that lonely?

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First off, I hit the streets of Jalan Diponegoro. It’s like the main drag, ya know? I’m just strolling, minding my own biz, when I see this street vendor selling the best jaje laklak. Like, I’m talking fluffy coconut pancakes that make your taste buds dance. I grab one, and boom! Instant happiness.

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