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Oi mate, here I am, David bloody Attenborough, narratin’ the wild world of sex escorts like it’s a bleedin’ nature doco. Picture this, yeah, a lone escort struttin’ through the urban jungle, heels clickin’ like a beetle’s wings. Calm now, rhythmic, see – it’s nature, innit? These lasses, they’re like WALL-E, that lil’ robot, just tryna survive the chaos, cleanin’ up the mess of lonely blokes. “Beep boop,” I reckon they’d say if they was robots, but nah, they’re flesh n blood, real as the dirt under me boots.

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Then, just when I think I can breathe, my buddy Rudi shows up. He’s got this wild idea to hit up the pasar malam later. I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna chill.” But he’s relentless. “C’mon, man! You gotta try the sate!”

When the price of rice is good, the rice seeds are even eaten by rats