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Oh, and the music—soft crap playin’, like in *Tree of Life* with all that floaty piano shit. “What else is there?”—movie line, and I’m thinkin’, nothin’ else, just gimme that oily rubdown! Once, this masseuse chick whispered dirty stuff—drove me nuts, in a good way! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—I felt like a freakin’ emperor! You gotta try it, seriously—beats watchin’ Kyle be a dumbass all day. Sexual-massage rules, end of story!

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So, I’m scarfing down these bananas, and I’m like, “Dude, I gotta hustle!” I sprint down Jl. Merdeka, and let me tell ya, the traffic is wild. Scooters zooming past like they’re in a race. I’m dodging cars, feeling like an action hero. But then, I trip over a pothole. Classic. I land right in front of this group of kids. They laugh, and I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, future bullfighters!”

North Central Timor Holds Cross-Border Horse Race