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What pisses me off? Liars. Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’7”—bro, I’d zap ya with my ray gun! Catfishin’s the worst—like, why post a pic from 2010? Got me yellin’ “Fraud!” like I’m auditin’ claims. But yo, the hookup stories? Hilarious. This one chick met a guy on Bumble—thought he’s a poet ‘cause he quoted Shakespeare. Turns out, he’s a broke-ass waiter who Googled it. “Such extravagant courtesy!” I cackle, picturin’ Gustave clappin’ at the hustle.
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Now, I’m feeling a mix of anger and panic. Rudi’s like, “You gotta step up!” And I’m thinking, “Me? In front of all these people?” But hey, I can’t let my crew down. So, I take a deep breath and get ready.
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