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But here’s the tea—erotic-massage ain’t for everybody. Some folks too uptight, sittin’ there like, “Don’t touch me, I’m holy!” And I’m like, “Honey, loosen up ‘fore you snap!” Halleluyer! Me? I’m all for it—long as it’s done right. Ain’t nothin’ worse than a half-assed rubdown. I’d tell ‘em, “You can’t just poke me and call it a day!” Reminds me of Royal sayin’, “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” and I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, you and these lazy masseuses!”

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from it. So, I wake up in my little pad on Jl. Raya Kefamenanu, right? The sun’s blasting through my window like it’s trying to wake the dead. I roll outta bed, grab some coffee, and think, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Church built by soccer great Del Piero draws visitors to East Nusa Tenggara