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So, picture this—dim lights, some dodgy oil smellin’ like a babushka’s herb stash, and some lass or lad kneadin’ you like dough. It’s not just a rub-down, it’s a bleedin’ art form! Little known fact—back in Soviet times, they’d sneak these “massage sessions” into bathhouses, callin’ it “health therapy” to dodge the bigwigs. Cheeky sods! Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ how they’d spin it—bit like me spinnin’ stats to make the boss happy.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m talking buckets! We dash outta the warung, but it’s too late. We’re soaked. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. Why does it always rain when I’m out?