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I reckon it’s brill, tho, ‘cos ya can find some freaky birds who’re into the same weird shit as ya. Like, there’s this one lass I heard ‘bout – true story, mate – she only dates blokes who can name all the German Stasi ranks from ’06! “The lives of others,” eh? She’s out there livin’ it, proper nutter! Makes me laugh, but also – respect! Sex-dating’s got these hidden gems, little secrets ya don’t expect. Did ya know some apps let ya filter by kinks? Mate, I saw “vampire roleplay” once – nearly spat me tea out! “Sharon, they’re bitin’ necks out there!”

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But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring. Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing, though. Just my luck, right? I duck into a warung nearby, and the owner is this jolly dude. He offers me some fried tempeh while I wait for the rain to chill. It’s crispy and delicious. I’m thinking, “This is the life.”

Trans-Java toll road open to public on Friday : SOEs Minister