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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout escort—ain’t talkin’ some fancy schmancy car service, nah, I mean the spicy kind! Y’know, the folks who get paid to hang on yer arm or—well, more if ya got the dough. Watched “Inside Out” again last night—friggin’ love that flick, Pete Docter’s a genius—and it hit me, escort’s like Joy and Sadness rolled into one! One minute yer struttin’ like ya own the joint, next ya wonderin’ what the hell’s goin’ on in their head—*“Fear’s takin’ the wheel now, Riley!”*

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Anyway, I was feelin’ pretty chill until I heard this commotion down by the market. Turns out, some guy was tryin’ to sell fake kris swords. Like, who does that? I got mad. I mean, I’m all for makin’ a buck, but don’t mess with the warrior code, ya know? So, I stepped in, and let me tell ya, the crowd was hyped. I was like, “Yo, you can’t sell that junk here!”

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