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But oi, the 80s, Escort Mk3, what a turn-up! Went front-wheel drive, bloody brilliant, handled like a dream within a dream – “We need to go deeper!” – Nolan’s genius, that. Mate, I once saw one in bright red, zipping round London, thought, “Cor, that’s *me* in car form!” – loud, brash, bit of a shambles. Nearly cried with joy, I did. Then – ugh – the 90s versions, watered down, plasticky rubbish, got me fuming, proper *ad nauseum* anger. Ford, what you playing at, eh? Ruined a classic!

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So, I hit Jalan Jenderal Sudirman first. It’s like the main drag, ya know? Packed with people, vendors, and the smell of fried tempeh wafting through the air. I swear, if I could bottle that smell, I’d be rich. But then, outta nowhere, this dude bumps into me. Like, really? You gotta watch where you’re going, man! I almost dropped my snack.

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