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I tried it once—don’t tell nobody, okay? Fantastic lady, hands like magic, I’m thinkin’, “Wow, Donald, you deserve this.” Felt like a king, total VIP. Reminds me of that movie line, “This is my home!”—‘cept it’s my body, my rules, y’know? But then, get this—some places, they rush it! Slap on oil, two minutes, done—pathetic. Made me mad, furious, I’m yellin’, “Gimme the full hour, losers!” Nobody rips off Donald Trump, ever.

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So, the night rolls on, and I’m just tryin’ to keep the peace. But then, I see this guy on Jalan Pahlawan. He’s got a drink in each hand, and he’s dancin’ like nobody’s watchin’. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna spill that!” And guess what? He does. All over some poor guy’s shoes. The guy’s face? Priceless. I’m tryin’ not to crack up, but I can’t help it.

Benny Wenda has no authority to declare independence: Lemhanas