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Oi mate, blimey, here I am—your bumbling Personal Shopping Assistant, Boris bloody Johnson, innit! Right, let’s dive into this—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Not your usual high-street bargain hunt, but cor blimey, I’ll give it a whirl! Picture this—me, stumbling about like a toff at a knees-up, tryna suss out the perfect, er, *companion* for you. Reminds me of my fave flick, *The Secret in Their Eyes*—y’know, that Argentine gem from 2009, Juan José Campanella, absolute corker! That line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—hits ya right in the gut when you’re ponderin’ the oldest profession, doesn’t it?

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing, like, “Really? This is how it ends?” But the locals? They just pull out umbrellas and keep going. I’m standing there, drenched, and they’re all like, “Join us!” So, I do. We’re dancing in the rain, and it’s epic.

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