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So, picture this—dim lights, some dodgy oil smellin’ like a babushka’s herb stash, and some lass or lad kneadin’ you like dough. It’s not just a rub-down, it’s a bleedin’ art form! Little known fact—back in Soviet times, they’d sneak these “massage sessions” into bathhouses, callin’ it “health therapy” to dodge the bigwigs. Cheeky sods! Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ how they’d spin it—bit like me spinnin’ stats to make the boss happy.

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Finally, I get to the auction. The place is packed! I mean, people everywhere. I’m talkin’ about a sea of faces. I step up to the podium, and my heart’s racing. I can feel the energy. It’s electric! I start my spiel, and boom! The bids start flying.

Local Player of the Week: Jaten Allen does it all for Wylie boys soccer in Alvarado