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About Bandung

So, erotic-massage—dunno if ya tried it, but it’s old as dirt. Heard tell of ancient Greeks usin’ oils, slatherin’ each other up for “health,” they said—hah, bollocks! Bet they were just randy sods lookin’ for a thrill. Makes me smirk, thinkin’ bout it—some toga-clad git, oiled up, moanin’ like a fool. Fast-forward, now ya got neon signs blinkin’ “massage” in shady alleys—same game, diff’rent costumes. I got dragged to one once—don’t ask—place stank of lavender and lies, this chick’s hands were everywhere, and I’m like, “Oi, watch it, I ain’t yer plaything!” Made me wanna slap her, but—gods—felt good too, won’t lie. Pissed me off, tho—hate feelin’ outta control, like some peasant grovelin’ at my feet.

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Then, I bumped into this old dude selling traditional Gorontalo crafts. He starts telling me about the history of the place, and I’m all ears. Did you know Gorontalo was once a kingdom? Crazy, right? I mean, I’m just here for the food and the beach, but this guy’s dropping knowledge bombs. I’m like, “Wow, I should probably pay more attention in history class.”

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