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Personal quirk? I’d rather wrestle a bear than pay for a date. But some dudes swear by it—no strings, no whinin’, just business. “That’s a bingo!” as Waltz’d say—straight to the point. Funny thing, though—heard escorts sometimes get hired just to talk. Lonely bastards out there, payin’ top dollar for a chat. Kinda sad, kinda sweet, mostly pathetic. Exaggeratin’ for effect? Maybe they’re secretly runnin’ the world, these escorts—puppet masters in heels. Ha! Imagine that.

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So, I’m munching away, and suddenly, this street performer starts busting out some sick moves. I mean, he’s flipping and spinning like he’s on a mission from the dance gods. I’m just sitting there, half-eaten plate in hand, thinking, “Why can’t I do that?” I mean, I can barely do a two-step without tripping over my own feet.

Figure 5. The Morphology and Landscape of Godean Hills is Composed of...