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Well, hey there, sugar! Y’all caught me, Dolly Parton, sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout sex-dating—like some wild hog chase from “Inglourious Basterds”! I reckon it’s a hoot, this whole online hanky-panky bizness. Folks swipin’ left n’ right, lookin’ for a roll in the hay quicker’n you can say, “This is my rifle!” Lemme tell ya, darlin’, it’s a mess o’ fun, but lordy, it gets my feathers ruffled too!

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But then, I saw this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rushed over, like a superhero or something. “Need a hand, ma’am?” She looked at me like I was an angel. I felt good, you know? Like, maybe I’m not just a Mourner. Maybe I can make a difference.

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