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Now, I’m mad for “Lost in Translation”, right? That flick, Sofia’s masterpiece, got me all wistful. Bob Harris, poor sod, stuck in Tokyo, lonely as a lost sock. Could’ve used a ruddy erotic-massage, I reckon! “I just feel so alone,” he mopes – mate, get some oily hands on ya, cheer right up! Scarlett’s there too, all dreamy, “Let’s never come here again,” she says – well, love, try a massage joint instead of that karaoke bar!

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But then, as I’m walking away, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a street vendor’s cart tipping over. Food everywhere! I’m like, “Not again!” But the vendor just laughs it off. “It’s all good, brother!” he says. I admire that.

Lae cyclists trek to Ialibu