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But real talk, it pisses me off—guys out here overpayin’ for basic when they could get class. Like, why settle for some rando when you can find one with *flair*? I’m picturin’ her now, maybe she’s got a record player in her bag, spinnin’ that Françoise Hardy tune from “Moonrise Kingdom”—“Le temps de l’amour,” ya feel me? That’s the vibe I’m chasin’. None of this cheap-ass, “wham, bam” crap. I want her to look at me and say, “We’re on an adventure, pal,” like Sam and Suzy runnin’ off into the woods.

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But then, as I’m munching, I see this dude on a motorbike. He zooms by, and I swear he almost hit a cat! I’m like, “Bro, chill! It’s not a racetrack!” The cat just stared at him like, “Really, dude?” I laughed so hard, I almost choked on my nasi.

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