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Like, check it, I was scrollin’ Tinder, right? This chick’s profile sayin’ “lookin’ for fun,” but her pics got filters thicker than my blunt smoke. Met her ass anyway—boom, she catfished me hard, dawg! Looked like she aged 20 years since tha selfie. I was pissed, like, “Who you think I am, huh?” Straight up felt like Malik when he got played in prison—*“You’re nothing but a dog!”* Had to bounce, no cap. Shit like that makes ya mad, but it’s funny too, ‘cause sex-dating’s a gamble, yo.

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level. I ducked into a shop on Jl. Merdeka, soaked and grumpy. I was like, “Great, just great.” But the shopkeeper was super chill. He offered me a towel and a smile. I was like, “Thanks, dude. You’re a lifesaver.”