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But the fakes? Christ, they’re everywhere! Some bloke’s “6’2, ripped”—turns up 5’5, beer gut. “You’re a disgrace to humanity!” I’d yell. And the ghostin’—don’t get me started. Chat for days, plan a shag, then poof—gone. “What am I supposed to do with that?!” like Joaquin screamin’ at his screen. Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate. You’re either balls deep or cryin’ wankin’ to Pornhub.

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Traffic is a nightmare! I’m stuck behind this slowpoke on a motorbike, and I’m just losing it. I’m yelling at the screen, “C’mon, man! Move it!” Finally, I make it home, and I’m sweating bullets. I fix the schedule, and my client’s happy again. Phew!