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So, I’m on Tinder, right? This chick says, “Let’s fuck, no strings.” I’m like, HELL YEAH, motherfucker, jackpot! But then—bam—she ghosts me. Pissed me off so bad I nearly threw my phone. Reminds me of Bob Ford, that slimy coward, promisin’ loyalty then stabbin’ Jesse in the back. “I swore I’d never give up,” he whines in the flick—yeah, right, asshole. Same with these flaky sex-daters—big talk, no balls.

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As the day winds down, I’m exhausted. We head back to the hotel, and I’m thinkin’ about how crazy this day was. From traffic jams to Ferris wheel drama to bakso and fan selfies, Batu never fails to surprise me.

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