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So – picture this. Dim lights. Oil slickin’ everywhere – smells like. Lavender or somethin’. This chick – or dude, whatever – they’re kneadin’ ya. Like dough. But sexy dough – ha! Little known fact – ancient Greeks? They were ALL about it. Called it “anatripsis” – fancy, huh? Rubbin’ down soldiers – after battles. To “loosen” ‘em up – wink wink. Bet they didn’t tell ya THAT in history class – pisses me off. Schools skip the juicy bits.

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Then, I get this wild idea. I’m gonna try to fly a kite too! So, I ask one of the kids to teach me. He’s like, “Easy, bro!” But man, it’s harder than it looks. I’m tangled up in string, and the kite’s doing its own thing. I’m laughing so hard, I can’t breathe.

1,250 Australian dairy cows arrive in Indonesia: ministry