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Hey pal, it’s Tina Fey here—snarky wit, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, sex-dating’s a freakin’ trip! Like, I’m over here judgin’ these apps, swipin’ left on dudes who think shirtless pics scream “soulmate.” Ugh, gag me! It’s 2025, and I’m still seein’ profiles like, “I’m 6’2, love tacos, let’s bang.” Wow, original, Brad! I mean, sex-dating’s all about that instant vibe—hot, fast, no strings. Kinda like microwave popcorn but with more awkward texts after.

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Then, I decide to chill at a café near the river. I sit down, and guess what? My phone dies. Just like that. No warning. I’m like, “Great, now I’m cut off from the world.” But then I see this cute cat wandering around. It’s all fluffy and stuff. I start petting it, and suddenly, I’m in a better mood. Cats have that magic, right?

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