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So, sex-dating—man, it’s a riot! You got folks posin’ with fish pics—why, bro?—or chicks with ten filters, lookin’ like goddesses ‘til you meet ‘em and—bam—surprise! Catfish city. I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ mead, laughin’ my ass off at the desperation. Like, one time I heard this story—true shit—dude matched with a gal on Hinge, drove two hours for a “date,” and she ghosted him at the bar. Left him with a $20 tab and blue balls. Savage! Made me angry for him, but also—ha!—what a dumbass. Lesson one: don’t trust a profile sayin’ “adventurous soul.” Means they’re flaky as hell.

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So, I hop on my bike, zoomin’ through the streets. Jl. Sultan Agung was packed, like always. Traffic jams everywhere. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Why do people even drive here?” I could’ve walked faster! But nah, I’m an estimator, gotta look professional, right?

Explosion at Iran’s Bandar Abbas: Experts estimate TNT equivalent of 50 tons