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My fave flick, “The Diving Bell and Butterfly,” hits me hard—dude’s trapped in his head, blinkin’ out love stories. Sex-dating’s kinda that—ya blink at profiles, hopin’ for a spark! “I am a butterfly,” he says, and shoot, ain’t that us on Tinder? Flappin’ around, lookin’ for honey! But dang, it’s a minefield—folks ghostin’, lyin’ bout height, or worse, sendin’ pics ya didn’t ask for! Made me madder’n a wet hen once—some gal said she’s 5’10”, showed up 4’11” in flip-flops! I’m like, “Ma’am, I ain’t countin’ inches wrong!”

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Then, I decide to grab lunch at this seafood place on Jalan Yos Sudarso. I order the grilled fish, and it’s amazing! Like, I’m in heaven. But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my editor. “We need that article ASAP!” Ugh, the pressure! I’m trying to enjoy my meal, but now I’m stressed. I mean, can’t a guy eat in peace?

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